Thoughts [3.12.09]

1. So, recently just as I've been learning a lot, there's been one lesson that has stood out among the rest. That lesson is God's grace. Through exploring it, I've realized that there's not enough of His grace in my life, especially towards others. I've realized I have a tendency to be hard on people, to point out their flaws and push them to change. But the problem is..that..I ...lack wisdom. -.-;; Sometimes, we just need to be able to accept people with grace.

Don't get me wrong. We still have to be real. We still have to love people so much that we'd be willing to sacrifice the relationship in order to tell them the truth/help them out. But, there are sometimes, where the gentle love of Jesus works a lot better than the harsh words of rebuke.

*Someone pointed out that often it's how we say it that is important.

1.5. I wish everyone could suck it up though. =X

2. Wisdom is so crucial. I think this is especially the case in Christianity. The problem is that in Christianity, there's so many issues where there's no hardline, straight up answers. There are so many gray areas where answers aren't clear. When they're not wrong, but they're not exactly right either. There are so many beginnings to slippery slopes.

I can see now why Prayer Driven Life had a section about how God wants to flood us with wisdom. Wisdom is the deciding factor in turning good motives to good outcomes.

3. Today I was so discouraged. Looking at all of these internship positions, I realized how underqualified I am. In a way, it's just my payment for not doing anything in high school and ...even here. A lot of the requirements have a clause something along the lines of: "Desire to learn". But, that doesn't really matter. If you don't have the other qualifications, such as the experience or previous knowledge, it doesn't matter how great your desire is to learn, you're not gonna get the job.

Then I juxtaposed this to Christianity. Then I smiled because in Christianity, it's not about your job experience, qualifications, abilities or previous knowledge, but! the "desire to learn" has a lot heavier weight. I'm so happy that by God's standards, I'm not completely underqualified because I at least have the desire to learn. ^^

Then after all this bitterness, I realized how prideful, selfish I was being. How can I expect to build job experience if I don't seek after the lower level jobs to build up my foundation? Or even volunteering at some of these engineering labs. I'm so high and mighty that not only do I think I deserve stimulating, rewarding, helpful jobs, but also a high paying one. One of my friends was talking about how he might do volunteer research and how he's building up his network by proactively engaging his target community and then I just felt like a fool.

But it ends TODAY! I'm gonna take the first step of MPS-6 (also my favorite): Engage!

overnOUT