[Final]

After a long while of thinking, I decided that it would be best to keep my thoughts to myself for a while. Aite, God Bless.

overnOUT

[4.11.09]

Not gonna lie, forgot to write somewhere else.

[4.10.09]

Not gonna lie, forgot to write somewhere else.

[4.09.09]

Written somewhere else.

[4.08.09]

Written somewhere else.

[4.07.09]

Written somewhere else.

[4.06.09]

Written somewhere else.

[4.05.09]

Written somewhere else.

Classifieds [4.04.09]

1. So Friday, the conclusion that I came to after I saw the Jim Elliot video during ACCESS was that we need more strong women. I mean, how crazy is it that after losing all of their husbands and being left to raise up the children by themselves, one of the wives and one of the sisters decided to go continue the mission?

I would assume that after hearing of their husbands demise, they would have cried out to God, frustrated at His hand in the matter. How could such a God let these men die? Men who had laid down their lives to advance His kingdom? Could such a God even exist? If so, how could He be good?

But these women were so strong in their faith, in their shared conviction with their husbands, that they somehow overcame all of the pain and sadness to stand up once again for God's kingdom. Wow.

I don't know, just after watching that, not only was I moved by how God is always faithful, but also just overwhelmed by the strength of these women.

Thought [4.03.09]

1. I have this tendency to slow down near the finish line. When we ran the mile in middle/high school, I would always sprint up to 10 yd from the end and I would give out, slowing down as I crossed the finish line.

This is what I thought about when P. Andrew was telling us how we have to end strong. I realize that way too often, I put a finish line in my race for Christ, even when there isn't one. I mean, there is only one end to the race and that would probably be my death. But for some reason, I'm so apt to sectioning off my spiritual life with my academic one. And as I near these false "ends", I slow down, just waiting for me to jog over the finish line.

So, I've been reminded that I should run as hard as I can until I'm past the finish line and so that even if I section off my life, my strong end will turn into a strong beginning of the next section.

2. Sometimes we just need to be still and know that God is God.

3. Love. Investment. Faith. Enjoyment.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! [4.02.09]

That was like an, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I am triumphant!!!" kinda thing.

Got my math exam score back. PASSED! wooots! God is good (all the time). Makes the struggle a little bit more worth it.

Math 454 and I have one more tango left. Hopefully, that time, I will lead...

Reflection [4.01.09]

1. Today in LG, we were talking about the house built upon the rock vs. the house built upon the sand. While talking about how we could differentiate people's foundations, someone said that you can see how they respond when faced with a storm.

Seeing as how I'm going through a storm right now, I don't think my actions really point towards the solid foundation. All I do is complain about the situation and try to muscle through it. Maybe He's just teaching me real surrender. The one that comes after I've tired myself by endlessly running into the same wall. The kind where I finally just turn and ask Him and He points me to the door in the wall.

Yes, I can weather the storm, but not by my own strength. I really need to be able to differentiate and be honest about it.

2. Sometimes I just need the biggest doses of my own medicine.

-Maybe it's time to start blogging about those thoughts I had in reserve.

AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! [3.31.09]

That was battle cry "AHHHHHHHH!!!!", not a pansy girl "AHHHHHHHH!!!!".

When times get tough, it's time to man up.

"You are stronger, YOU ARE STRONGER.
Sin is broken. YOU HAVE SAVED ME."

Be Joyful Always [3.30.09]

During a time when I was feeling overwhelmed, this was the verse that popped into my head.
I feel like it's on of the ones that the Korean church loves: 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.

During a time when the most unnatural thing to do is to be joyful and pray, it's reminded me that in these moments, I probably need to be joyful and pray the most.

So despite all of these feelings of regret at wasting the most precious commodity, I will rejoice. For this is the day, this is the day (that the Lord had made, that the Lord has made) I will rejoice, I WILL REJOICE and be glad in it.

Gosh I love all of these old songs. Ironic how I can now start to grasp the meanings of songs that are taught to 7 year olds.

One Day Horizon [3.29.09]

Sigh, I have degenerated to the one day horizon.
It takes so much time, discipline, and efficiency to get it back up.

Let's do it...