Thoughts [3.03.09]

Prelude to the real heavy duty thoughts: My titles are boring, yet my entries are not cohesive enough to merit a single, entertaining headline. Sigh.

1. FML? I like the site, but I don't like the idea. Who said it's your life to fuck? What a prideful, arrogant thing to say? It just reminds me that I can't change one hair from black to white, or add a cubit to my stature (as much as I would love to). Who says that your life is in a position so bad that you'd like to "fuck your life"? I know a lot of other people whose lives are truly fucked beyond the almost trivial blips we complain about in our lives.

2. I realized how hard it is for me to curse now. Even after reading what I typed, the eff word looks so harsh and ugly. How I have changed from the youth that spat out words that would make a sailor cringe.

2.5 I changed the f word to f**k, but then changed it back for literary emphasis.

3. I've recently just realized more of what it means to give up our lives for Jesus. To me, it means something that people might consider extreme, after all, we are giving up our lives. It means, that the old me and the new me should not and cannot coexist with one another any more. It really means, "so long self" (a good song by MercyMe).

It means that the way I live should be radical and purposeful. It means that I can't just be the lazy, procrastinating slacker that I always was. It's almost analogous to getting into shape. All of those miracle pills, "5 minute machines", or crazy ab machines aren't going to get you into shape, or at least not with lasting, genuine results. It requires a change of lifestyle. It requires a change of perspective. And that's what people are talking about when they talk about transformation.

As someone who was "born into" the faith, I can see why we're so unlikely to do so. We've grown up with the idea that we should be transformed and new, but we haven't seen it in the lives of others, so we've grown content with living our old lives, but with the addition of 25 minutes of prayer a week. It's analogous to eating a Big Mac, Chipotle burrito, a Blimpy burger, and a cheese cake and then ordering a diet coke. But more than just working out, or eating one healthy meal, it has to be a consistent, daily effort.

overnOUT