I cry every Tuesday/Thursday

cutting onions at work. lol

1. I'm really close to breaking down. It's soooooo demanding. Math classes which blow my mind, work that's a mental and physical strain, and the time drain of our church events. Problem is, I can't give any of them up. But I was so close to snapping after Mathematica wasn't working for me. Then I realized that I was the one who had made a stupid mistake LOL. Just today I wanted to quit work and now I wanna drop MATH 454. No benefit for quitting or dropping, except to temporarily lighten my load.

2. In light of [1] up there, I realized that I focus on my weakness/weariness/stressedout-ness, too much. I need to focus more on God and His glory, not focus on me and my weakness. I also am in desparate need of His peace. He promises me it and I'm trying to hold onto that with my last strength. Lol. Maybe God wants to make self sufficient me not so self sufficient.

3. It all leads to this. Suck it up and truck it through. Stop whining and complaining. God said He is more than enough for me. Then it is so. I will try to focus more on His glory then mine. His strength than my weakness. Ya get the point, no?

4. I realized I go through this pattern of a) realizing my weakness/flaw b) counting on God to redeem it/seeing how God is bigger than it/how much we need the big man upstairs.

overnOUT